Driving on my way home from my parents. It’s late, no, it’s too late, but I’m reminded of the sleep I get in my own bed compared to anyone else’s, so that keeps me going.
Barely down the road, I see the shadow of a car begin to follow mine.. so creepy at night and then it comes on like blue, red, and white fireworks in the night… 😒
“Okkkayyyyy,” I say to only myself and my car. So I pull over like the lights tell me to do and await the looming answer to the question, “What did I do?”
A flashlight greets my eyes… and speaks to me, “Did you know you were speeding?”
“I… was?” I say actually shocked that this is the reason I’m being detained, so to speak.
“Yes, you were going 35,” states the police officer matter of factly.
“I’m sorry… ?” With only a hint of a question this time because… I’m pretty sure 30 is the speed limit???
After some painfully awkward small talk which leads with the officer pointing out the fake flowers in my car (that have been there since my wedding, because, hey, who doesn’t use their car as storage every now and then..) and ends with him questioning the spaghetti dinner I just spent with my family…
He walks away to deliberate and I wait the verdict…
And the piece of paper reads…
⚠️ WARNING. ⚠️
A momentary sigh of relief until I realize the paper gives his fib away and admits to me 34 was the actual speed I was driving in a 25….
You gotta be… #%*%€~%¥£ me!?!
I was pulled over for going 9 over?! Watch out guys, crazy woman on the lose! Nearly got my first ticket for DRIVING LIKE A MAD MAN. 🙄
But in all reality, I know you were looking for some drunk driver and it wasn’t me. You didn’t need to waste 11 minutes of the time I could have spent sleeping in my bed. And, sure, just for you, I’ll drive even slower. Now, please go catch the real bad guys.