Loving Changes

I looked down.
“I just didn’t expect this change,” I admit to my husband as he lies on the multicolored rug next to me.
I give a forced side-smile and try to shrug it off, blinking back the surge of emotions.
Laying on his back now he looks up at me, sitting cross-legged next to him. He tries to make words appear, but his lips get tight and his eyes red and full.
He starts again, hands near, ready to catch any water that might escape his eyes.
“I just don’t want you to feel badly,” he manages to whisper, fighting against his tightening throat. “You’re having a baby and you’re my wife and thats beautiful. And all these changes are beautiful too.”
And yet the little droplets come. They streak downward and splash onto his hands
— But they are not his, they are mine.
June 2019
For my loving husband, Zack Anderson

SOL #11 Our Didn’t Do Day

Today we didn’t shower.

We didn’t get out of bed before eleven.

We didn’t drive our cars.

We didn’t go outside, except to let our dog go potty.

We didn’t wash our clothes.

We didn’t vacuum the floors.

We didn’t clean the litter box-sorry kitties!

We didn’t do the chores.

We didn’t do our work or prepare for the week ahead.

Today, we just didn’t. And it was perfect spending my didn’t do day with you.

SOL #4 Daisies or Sweet Peas?

“Daisies or Sweet Peas?” the text reads.

“Well…” I say out loud… Pause. Think.

“Sweet Peas for the smell. Daisies for the look. But Sunflowers are the best. 🌻”

My brother was texting asking us to pick our favorite flower out of our “birth month flowers.” He wants to get tattos that represent us. But didn’t like those options, so chose another.

Yes, I’m always that difficult.

Old Coat Memories

I put on my old coat.

I thought about playing in the snow

and chewing salty, right-by-zipper fabric.

I transformed into a giant purple marshmallow

stuffed with down feathers.

I cringed at the washed-out dirt marks

lining the sleeves

and laughed at the moments that a created them.

I played zipper races up and down my forearm

faster, fast, faster.

I had to hold the sleeve.

I flipped up my halo of warmth

and leaned back to welcome the security-

but still missed the slightly itchy fur rim.

I snuggled into the warmth of memories.

I nearly fell asleep on the couch.

SOL #30 But They are Family Too!

Not only am I wedding venue searching, but I am also apartment searching -both exhausting tasks that really matter in the end, especially for our happiness.

During my search, I had about twenty tabs pulled up – all different apartments in various areas and about 80% of apartments scream, “NO pets!” or “Cats only” or “2 pet limit, sorry not sorry.”

I’m a pretty understanding person, I get it. I know pets can be messy and sometimes destructive, but pets can also be your closest companions. And, under the right care, they can even be very well mannered in home and apartment settings.

That last sentence describes my animals. We have two cats (siblings, a boy and girl: Nami and Graves) and one dog (the Frenchie: Pudge). Sometimes they have what my fiancé and I like to call “the sprinties,” but other than that, they are awesome companions!

They are the friendliest animals I know to other people. They also hardly make a mess!

I’m just disappointed that the search for a place to live with my furry friends is near-to-impossible. Of course I’ve snagged a few places under my wing and contacted them immediately, but I’ve been turned down by so many others.

One place even had the AUDACITY to ask, “We have a two pet policy. Is this a deal breaker for you?”

“ABSOLUTELY. IT DEFINITELY IS!” I practically yelled back.

My polite response back didn’t reflect it, but I sure did feel it!
If it is not a “deal breaker”, then I’m not a good owner, a good family member, a good companion. My animals are my family. They are NOT going anywhere, and neither am I.

And so, the search continues…

SOL #29 For My Mother


You are my giddy laughter

You are the warm sun and the light breeze

You are my big, bright smile

You are the music in my soul

You are “My Sunshine, My only Sunshine”

You are a tight hug on a bad day

You are encouragement to be better

You are the push to be more

You are all “thank you”s and “please”s

You are my belief

You are the back rub that says, “Everything will be okay”

You are my tenderness

You are my love for animals

You are car chanting, “CRA-ZY, CRA-ZY!”

You are the catcher of my tears

You are the paint on my canvas

You are the drawing on my walls

You are silly, made-up words

You are my creative

You are the tickle-monster

You are the walks to the park

You are my stay up late, and care for others

You are my never-give-up

You are the smile in my heart

You are my inspiration

You are my hero


YOU are everything I am.

I am everything YOU are.


Mom, YOU are my “happy dance”


Today is my mom’s birthday, so, naturally, I needed to post about the most influential human in my life.


At a very young age, my mother brought sunshine to mine and my siblings’ lives. From dancing to disney music to craft making and playing at the park, my mom was a super mom to ANY kid!

All the kids in the neighborhood knew it too! She would always open her heart for any child.

She is always the warm hug you need in a sad moment and a guiding hand when you need a pick-me-up.

More than that, she always “happy dances” when we accomplish anything big in her mind! Always praising, always loving, always encouraging.

My mom has been, to this day, the best mom any kid could ever receive. I lucked out! So on this day, and every day, I am privileged to be your daughter, to be created by all of your love.

Mom and Me!.jpg

I love you, mom.

Happy Birthday!

SOL #27 Rainy Day Walks with My Sweethearts

Already today has been an eventful day!

My fiancé and I went out for brunch with his family. Planned for later, we are heading over to my family’s for some linner or dunch (lunch/dinner 😛 ).

So he’s getting a nap in, because as they say…Introverts.png

and this is so, so very true.

I decided to take Pudge (my dog, if you haven’t read my past posts) on a walk. I invited my niece along too.

Unfortunately, Mother Nature doesn’t always agree and it began to drizzle. That wasn’t about to stop us!

We grabbed our umbrellas, and away we went!


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Credit for the picture goes to the future mother-in-law.
We ran into her and my future sister-in-law on their way back from the store. So happy they captured the moment because it turned into a pretty cool picture. 😛

SOL #25 Let’s give It a Try

Today I’m posting past the deadline, but hey for me, it’s still March 25th.

Besides, I tried on wedding dresses today for the first time ever!!

It was a lot of fun, and also a lot of hassle…getting the dresses on and off, but mostly because I swimming in all of them!

They were all at least two sizes too big!

Some looked really great on and had potential, but it even the really beautiful ones needed to be tried on in MUCH smaller sizes to get the effect.

For my first wedding-dress-trying-on session, I think it went pretty successfully.

My mom and two sisters were there too, which made it all the more memorable, of course. I love them guys.

Mom and Me Trying on Wedding Dresses.jpg

No worries, this is NOT the dress! I still have to choose one! 😛

SOL #15 My Sister: An Acceptable Citizen

Today is voting day. I feel very strongly that you should not complain about who wins unless you attempt to do something about it.

I will not accept the definition of a “lazy American” who cries at the winner, but doesn’t move his feet in the other direction. In my opinion, you have no leg to stand on.

Sure, a lot can be said for the feeling that your one vote doesn’t matter due to the process, but, nonetheless, a vote is an attempt. And an attempt is all we ask for. If everyone had the mentality that their “vote didn’t matter”, the only votes that would be cast would be for a president the majority would not desire. I was NOT about to let this happen.

SO, with this in mind, I drove out an hour and thirty minutes to go vote. My fault for not re-registering to vote in a new location, but I wasn’t about to risk not voting. A little driving couldn’t hurt me.

After voting in my parent’s hometown, I asked how to switch precincts and voting places, I also asked about where/how to register to vote because my younger sister claimed she was interested in voting, but didn’t know anything about the process. On this note, it is truly unfortunate that the people of my generation do not know how or where to find information about voting. Don’t get me wrong, it’s no walk in the park, but it is much worth the work. This information should also be easier to find and understand, but we’re getting off the point…

Anyway, the very nice lady informed me that my sister could still register and vote today! All we had to do was go to an alternative location, the Administrative Office, and she would be able to vote for someone other than…that horrific man (he who shall not be named).

Then, after about an hour and a half standing in line and registering, she was able to vote!

On this day, I helped my sister become an acceptable, honorable citizen: a citizen that doesn’t just stand around and complain, a citizen that votes!

I hope you voted too.


SOL Day #4 Love via Text

My dad works in the same area I do and we share the same tax guy. I’ve been doing my taxes through my dad’s tax guy for a while, so I guess he just assumed I’d want my taxes sent to where my parents still live (but I definitely do not).

My dad, out of kindness, picked up the taxes from the post office and dropped them off at school. I only have 15 minutes to eat on Fridays since I have taken up Lunch Duty…not to mention no planning time on Fridays either. 😦 Anyway, after sharing a quick hug and hello, I got another happy *ding*…

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If you knew my dad, you’d know how monumental this is. Sometimes it takes years to realize it and even longer for him to show it, but I know there has always been love there…even if it’s been buried deep down.

Love you so, Daddy Joe! 🙂