Loving Changes

I looked down.
“I just didn’t expect this change,” I admit to my husband as he lies on the multicolored rug next to me.
I give a forced side-smile and try to shrug it off, blinking back the surge of emotions.
Laying on his back now he looks up at me, sitting cross-legged next to him. He tries to make words appear, but his lips get tight and his eyes red and full.
He starts again, hands near, ready to catch any water that might escape his eyes.
“I just don’t want you to feel badly,” he manages to whisper, fighting against his tightening throat. “You’re having a baby and you’re my wife and thats beautiful. And all these changes are beautiful too.”
And yet the little droplets come. They streak downward and splash onto his hands
— But they are not his, they are mine.
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June 2019
For my loving husband, Zack Anderson
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SOL #31 Crystal Clear

When you dream of the future, you always picture it differently than it turns out.

All sparkly and shiny. But mostly a blur.

But here we are -right now- the real. Maybe not sparkly and shiny, but it’s not a blur – it’s crystal clear and in some funny way, it’s more perfect than ever could have imagined.

SOL #30 Hablas Español?

Nervously we look at each other, “But what about the language barrier? Maybe we just shouldn’t go.”

“No. We’re going,” I say as we step out of the car and make our way to Los Mangos.

It’s an ice cream and smoothie place. And well, I want a smoothie.

We spend some time staring at the menu, trying to decide what it means… looking up each word one by one. Until we’re told, the line actually starts over there. Whoops. Haha

But hey, English! We can understand that!

By the time it’s our turn, my husband gets confident and orders for me. We’re all not sure what she’s making me… she’s not sure if it’s a smoothie…but onward we voyage.

My husband confidently points and asks what’s inside that ice cream.

“I’m not sure how to Explain it in English…” the girl behind the counter trails off in her Spanish accent.

“Oh, that’s okay,” my husband and I say almost in unison.

“Try it? Do you want to?” she says as her face perks up.

“If I can… sure!” replies my husband eagerly.

He smiles back a look of satisfaction and shock at the taste as he passes the other half of the sample to me.

“Yum!” I say, admittedly more impressed with his ice cream, than my “smoothie”.

We pay and leave.

“That was a fun little adventure,” says my husband as we enter the car. He continues, “And I’m glad we tried something new! The non-Spanish-speaking people are missing out on this ice cream!”

I wish I could say the same for my warm concoction, but I definitely do agree about our fun little, adventure –no matter how terrified we both were at the counter.

I know some our Spanish-speaking neighbors must feel like this every day –except less so fun and I appreciate the challenge they take on, the bravery they have when ordering at our English counters too.

SOL #28 A Dream That Wasn’t

There we sat hearing a song we’ve heard ten short, ten long years ago.

There we were married and browsing houses.

Our two cats and dog cuddled by our sides.

And the funny thing is, we didn’t wake up because it was a dream that wasn’t a dream anymore.

It was here, it was now. It was everything and it was real;

— And I couldn’t be more grateful as happy tears stung my eyes.

I knew couldn’t love you more.

But maybe in ten years, you’ll prove me wrong again.

SOL #27 Not Snack Time

I stop at the bottom of the stairwell waiting to pick up my Third Graders from art class. With a sandwich baggie in my hand, I continue to eat the remaining scraps of my scrumptious banana bread my husband so kindly purchased for me from a restaurant this weekend.

By this time, a Kindergarten class comes marching along down the hallway with their bubbles in their mouths and their hands on their hips, like their incredible, I-still-don’t-know-quite-how-they-do-it Kindergarten teachers have taught them. They stop at the “Stop Sign” across from me, as they await their teacher’s next direction.

Immediately the first student, the line leader of course, locks eyes with me and my banana bread baggie.

He looks between me and the banana bread baggie a few times before he finally meets my curious gaze with a puzzled look.

Then he firmly states, “It’s not snack time.”

I giggle to myself, “Maybe not for you, but right now it is for me.”

 

Now I appreciate not only that our Kindergarteners know how to walk in the halls, but I also appreciate that they know when snack time is and that it’s not – like I have suggested – in the hallway….
Well, at least not for them. Haha!

SOL #26 Crazy 😳

The hallways are empty now. The kids have gone home and so have the majority of the teachers.

I stayed for a meeting and just as I was about to walk out the door I remembered, “Oh, I have to copy that…”

And so while it copies, I take the necessary bathroom break that I planned on taking in my own home.

As I make my way back to the copy room, I round the corner only to be met with very large, eyes and a mouth full of chips…

“You look like… everything beautiful!” our district literacy coach says and we both chuckle. I can tell not only does she actually love my enthusiasm, but she also appreciates it. I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate people like her.

I offer the only explanation I have for the reason why her eyes are so wide, “Crazy Hair Day.” I shrug.

And we both laugh again.

Here is a picture of only the front… which includes 2 flower headbands, 3 buns, 2 bracelets, 1 fake flower, 1 red ribbon, and 1 cup ring identifier with beads and grapes (which typically goes at the bottom of a wine glass). I am also wearing mismatched earrings (a fishy biting my ear and a hamburger that reads “Hangry”) and an apple necklace while wearing a mock of Ariel’s blue dress.

You can say I went all out. 🤪 After all, it’s all for the kids, right?!

SOL #25 Sniffles

Sniffle, sniffle.

“Can you leave yet?” I ask this stubborn cold.

“No. Not for a few more days at least,” is it’s adamant reply.

I sniffle a grumble back in disappointment.

Sniffle. “I’d wish you good night if there were anything good about you in the first place– but there’s not,” I say with glaring eyes.

“So a sniffly good night to you too,” I huff and turn over on my sheets hopefully for the last time.

SOL #24 The Alarm

“Ding da ding da ding ding,” goes my alarm.

DO YOUR SLICE OF LIFE. It tells me…

Ugh, no. No ideas yet.
Big orange button.
SNOOZE.

Repeat approximately ten more times.

Times up, no more time to wait for ideas.
Type away… slice done.

Alarm has served it’s job.
Tap, Stop.

SOL #23 BUNS

“I like your buns!” my best friend and co-teacher shouts down the hall at my other best friend and mentor, who is notoriously known for being an introvert.

Immediately, introverted J shoots back a puzzled glance accompanied with a small smirk. She doesn’t say anything and just keeps on walking.

“Uhhhh! WHOOPS!” I say back and we burst out in laughter.

She clearly was admiring introverted J’s cute hair, which was done up something like this:

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Not quite the compliment she was hoping to give, but it was definitely, WELL RECEIVED by the audienceme.

Hahaha!

A much needed laugh for an early morning to says the least!

 

***On a side note, you really have to be very careful what you type in as your google search for “buns”… I started typing and, thank goodness for my quick thinking, I backed out and then typed “hair buns”. Phew! Crises avoided this time!