Loving Changes

I looked down.
“I just didn’t expect this change,” I admit to my husband as he lies on the multicolored rug next to me.
I give a forced side-smile and try to shrug it off, blinking back the surge of emotions.
Laying on his back now he looks up at me, sitting cross-legged next to him. He tries to make words appear, but his lips get tight and his eyes red and full.
He starts again, hands near, ready to catch any water that might escape his eyes.
“I just don’t want you to feel badly,” he manages to whisper, fighting against his tightening throat. “You’re having a baby and you’re my wife and thats beautiful. And all these changes are beautiful too.”
And yet the little droplets come. They streak downward and splash onto his hands
— But they are not his, they are mine.
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June 2019
For my loving husband, Zack Anderson